A Little Knee-Shaking is Good for You

Do you remember, as a child, thinking, “When I get bigger I won’t be afraid of that”!(whatever “that” was)?

 

If my aged memory still serves me, I recall being afraid of many things, like, the dark, opening an umbrella indoors, the Mummy, haunted houses, spiders, looking under the bed at night, the Doctor, the Mummy (oops!  I said that one already.  I was really terrified of that guy wrapped in band-aids), and, understandably, my 1st grade teacher.  Some of these fears were silly and unfounded.  A few, I won't mention which, have remained with me all these years later - like the Mummy.

I also remember thinking NUMEROUS times, “When I grow up, I won’t be afraid of the dark!”, or, “When I get bigger, I will be able to look under my bed”.  Basically, I figured I’d be able to conquer the world when I grew into my big girl pants.  I would be able to climb big rocks without help, swim underwater without holding my nose, explore caves AND haunted houses, kill spiders like a man, and walk around outside on a dark night without startling at each little noise.  I reasoned, in my 7 year old brain, that I would be afraid of absolutely nothing.  I’d be able to look my syringe-wielding doctor straight in the eye without dissolving into tears of terror.

Then I became a teenager.  

It seemed like my theory on fear and growing older was coming true.  I was ready to try almost anything!  Rapelling, doctor appointments, speeding in my Dad’s 'Caddy', spelunking, swimming at the river at night, trying strange food like, um…, mushrooms, sticking your tongue out at your mom when she turned her back, bring it on!  As I entered my twenties, I discovered that I wasn’t truly brave as a teenager, I was just stupid and cocky.  Teenagers like me, didn’t have the sense to realize that a little fear is a good thing.  And a smack on the head from your mom who caught you sticking your tongue out didn’t feel very nice.

Since then, I’ve been waiting for that big shot of bravery, like an inoculation of "Fearless"!   I'm pretty sure they don't manufacture that specific vaccine, because it’s never happened.  In fact, I have become MORE fearful as I’ve gotten older.  Fear of falling (“…and I can’t get up!”), dogs with big teeth, accidentally hiking into a marijuana farm, spooky bathrooms filled with spider webs (google ‘Walker Lake, NV’), and the fear of my teeth all falling out at once, just to name a few.  My fears have morphed for sure and I have not become less fearful, but more so.  My fears have grown and matured.  It paralyzes me at times and keeps me from trying and doing new things.  That fear, because I give in to it,  tethers me to the ground with iron-clad ropes.  Sure, it keeps me safer physically and emotionally, but on the downside, it has squeezed much of the adventurous spirit right out of me.  I think I have even begun to be afraid of being afraid.  And that is kinda sad.
When we moved from southern UT, a very dear friend gave me a small book/journal as a “going away” gift.  It was titled, “Do One Thing Everyday That Scares You”; a gem of a book.  It is filled with a quote and one thing to do each day, per page.  Some things are small, like, “talk to someone you don’t know”.  Some of the ideas were bigger and scarier, like, “join a dance class”.  Ok, that one isn’t so scary - but you get the idea.  I loved this book. 
The thing about doing things you are afraid of, or challenged by, is that it stretches you right into your soul.  It builds you.  Even if you fail at something, you can say, “I tried and it wasn’t that bad”.  And then you try again.  And you grow.  *On a serious note;  are we ever alone in our fear?  No, never.  We have a Savior there by our side for the silly and the not-so-silly fears.  He can be the source for the courage to move ahead.

 
Coolest thing I’ve discovered as I grown older?  You can keep growing and learning and changing!!  What??  Is that true?    Yep; truer than true.  In fact, we can accomplish the most amazing growth in our later years.   The reason?  Well, for me it’s because I tell myself, “What have you got to lose?”  Embarrassment?  Been there, done that.  Injury?  It’ll heal.  Mental trauma?  Just add it to the pile.  Death?  What a glorious way to go!!  Okay, okay.  Not "for reals" on that last one.  There’s grandkids to torture still. 

If you are thinking I have conquered all my fears, think again.  Far from it.  It’s a process.  It is time for me to pick up and use that little book that my friend was inspired to give me. 

 
What am I trying to say here, you may wonder?  (Quit beating around the bush for heck’s sake!) Here it is without all the frills; a little fear with a dose of courage goes a long way.  That business you want to start but are afraid you don’t have the skills?  Learn what you gotta know and step out there!  That 36 mile backpacking trip you want to take?  Just DO IT (and take bear spray)!   Want to enter your photography in an art fair but you think your work isn’t worthy?  Go for it!  Ya gotta start somewhere!  Want to see that great movie alone?  Just do it and make sure to get your popcorn with extra butter!  (And I’m talking to myself here!)

The things in life that make your knees shake are often the very things that will cause you to grow and feel alive.  And you know one of the things that grows the most?  It’s our courage.  Courage to keep trying new things and to keep going.   Courage to become our best selves.  Courage to be fearless with our goals and our life.  Courage to be who we are.

So, yes, a little knee-shaking is good for you.   REALLY GOOD!! 

Take it from a scaredy-cat.