I SEE YOU

I remember as a six-time mom playing peek-a-boo with my young children.  I would hide their little face behind a light blanket and then quickly pull it away, act surprised, and proclaim, “Peek-a-boo!  I see you!”!!   Baby would squeal with laughter and delight and the whole game would be repeated over and over, with baby rarely tiring of the game.

   

I’ve had reason to reflect on this game and the profoundness of this concept in my own life, and I suspect, in the lives of us all.   I recently shared some tender things with a family member who is dear to me.  Her kind spirit invites confidences and a letting down of pretense.   She is beautiful and smart and accomplished, but, she is also

completely loving and accepting of others.  You just know she will sift through the muck to see what really matters. 

And so, I confided in her about a moving and life-changing experience I’d had.  It involved admitting some of my own weaknesses and faults in order to get to what I really wanted to share.  She let me know that she understood  and felt what I was trying to say, then we were joined by several other people.  Nothing more was said about it for a day or so.

I received a note from her a few days after that.  As I read it, I felt deeply of her sincerity in her loving words to me.  And then I saw it.  My throat closed up and my eyes welled with tears as I read it over again, “I see you and I love you”.  The profoundness of those words struck deep into my heart and I was filled with extreme gratitude for the gift of her insight into ME.  I was humbled and thankful.

Have you ever had this experience with another human?  We all crave love and acceptance from others.  That’s why we go to such great lengths to impress others, even to the point of hiding who we really are.  But to be loved and valued for who and what we are at our core?  I can count the times on one hand that I have felt this;  that they saw me, all of me, and still loved and found the real me worthwhile. 

I have a friend, currently, whom I can let see my faults and idiosyncrasies  and feel comfortable that she accepts the whole package.  She sees ME, and still loves me.  She is a blessing in my life. There have been a few others as well.   Each person who can SEE YOU, all of YOU, and still love you is a huge blessing.    It has been immensely comforting to me and has helped me to love myself better.  I have especially felt this from my Savior and my Heavenly Father.  Another massive blessing.

A different story:  I met up with a someone that I hadn’t seen in a month or so.  We talked about what had transpired since then, sharing news of family and events.  She asked me about something important that had happened in our family and so I shared with her a few details of a very special event.  As I concluded my 3 minute narrative, without waiting for me to take a breath, she launched into, “Well, MY kids did…. " (you get the idea.  She was needing to top me.)   There was no acknowledgment of what I'd said.  With a huge feeling of let-down, I listened to her story.  And I remembered those 3 words that had been written to me.

3 simple words:  I  SEE  YOU. 

What do these 3 words mean?   I believe it is not simply to ability to see someone with your physical eyes.  It is the ability to see someone as they are; the whole messy package.  It’s being able to see a person’s strengths, talents, gifts, abilities, intelligence, and all that great stuff while still seeing their weakness, frailties, insecurities, hang-ups, and all that stuff that we beat ourselves up for.  All of these things make us human.  Not super human, just human.  And the words, “I  SEE  YOU” say that they see all of that, the whole shebang, but, they see that you are still lovable and worthwhile.  They accept who you are and love who you are.  They acknowledge the rough edges, but know that the imperfections don’t define you.  And, unsaid, the meaning comes through, “I choose to see the best in you”. 

Opposite of this is to be unheard or invisible to others.  To not see someone sends a message that they are not important.  We don’t SEE someone when we misjudge them, when we don’t really listen to them, when we dismiss them or discount them. 

“I  SEE  YOU”  is the most amazing affirmation of who you are in an essential way.  I have begun to say it to myself, in the mirror, each day.  I’ve been able to look at myself in the eye and think, “I see you and I love you; strengths and weaknesses combined, I still see you and love you.”

What a gift this has been.   Maybe we should all try this more often, with each other, and especially, with ourselves. 

Say it to someone.  Say it to yourself.  Mean it.  "I SEE YOU".