Going on a trip - not for the faint of heart.I don’t know about the rest of you couples, but there is something about going on a trip or vacation together that brings out the worst in our relationship. It’s not really the actual trip or planning that’s so bad, it’s the getting ready for it; those last 2 days before leaving are total killers. All the deficiencies in our characters flare up like the 4th of July. Each pet peeve is accentuated in neon pink highlighter. My husband has surely lost track of the number of times I have wildly proclaimed, “I am never going on a trip with you again!”.
Please, please, tell me I am not the only person to feel this way.
Here’s how it goes:
2 weeks before liftoff we are happy and optimistic. The hubs proclaims he will be checking out the tires, air, fluids, etc on the car we will be driving to the airport or our destination. He will also pay any bills that will be due while we are gone and take care of any issues at work. He says he will do it early. I, on the other hand, make grandiose plans to start packing early, to get my hair cut, to take care of necessary paperwork before the last minute. I’m also in charge of planning our itinerary and making reservations at hotels, etc. I will call Mary’s school, clean out the fridge, scrub bathrooms and clean the house. I LOVE coming home to a clean house. Dan says he will take care of finding a pet sitter and someone to pick up the mail and newspaper.
Everything sounds great and we are smiling big. 😁
1 week before our ‘bon voyage’ we are showing signs of stress. The only thing we’ve done is to plan the itinerary and make a hair appt. I mean, why clean the house a week early? It’ll just get messy again, right? And that pile of paperwork? All I’ve managed to do is shift it from one spot to the next.
Our smiles have worry lines at this point. 😏
6 days before the grand adventure I have forced myself to go thru the paperwork that needs attention. Icky paperwork. I’d rather clean 10 toilets used by men. I have also started reminding Dan to find a pet sitter. He still is dealing with work issues and has decided the lawn needs mowing.
Smiles are interspersed with frowns. 😐
5 days before the exodus I start making everyone eat leftovers. Yum. Not. I force Dan to sit down and help me make hotel reservations since we use his discounts. If we are using Airbnb - then I made the reservations a month or more ago. I remind Dan again about a pet sitter and the car. I call the school to cancel bus pickup for Mary and let them know when she’ll be back. Dan gets out the luggage after the 8th time I’ve asked/nagged him.
Can you smile and nag at the same time? 😟
3-4 days before the ‘great escape’ the days blur. Dan starts working overtime to catch up on any work stuff. I’ve gone into paralyzed “why bother?” mode. Besides getting my hair cut, I do anything that has nothing to do with our trip; things like, go to lunch with a friend, go on a hike, blog, watch a mini-series, start sewing a quilt or decorate a room that I’ve neglected for a year. Dan asks me who he should find to get the mail and feed the cats.
I scowl at him while writing in my blog. 😠
2 days before our get-away I awaken from my paralysis. Dan notices my haircut and declares he needs one as well. (I am his barber). He has found a cat-sitter and mail picker-upper. I start madly doing laundry and run to the store for travel size items. I clean bathrooms and dust bedrooms. I stare at the inside of the fridge with loathing. We eat the last of the leftovers and I am looking forward to take-out tomorrow.
Frustrated smiles/frowns are the norm now. 😬😤
Here is where things deteriorate rapidly.
1 day before our ill-planned journey Dan surprises me by only working a half day. Probably because he wants a hair cut, not a hatchet job. Nevertheless, I am grateful. The washer is going with bed sheets (I LOVE coming home to clean sheets) and I’m in the middle of cleaning the fridge. I bargain with him. One haircut for the vacuuming. He agrees. After the haircut, he goes outside to fiddle with the car for 2-3 hours. I shower off all the fuzz from his haircut and begin packing for me and for Mary. I get the sheets out of the dryer and make the bed. I peek outside and Dan is chewing the fat with a neighbor. I finish my packing. Dan is now outside trimming some trees. I write instructions for the cat-sitter, then put together snacks for the trip. He is now fertilizing the grass. I vacuum for him - with a grudge.
Not only am I not smiling, but there is a danger I will start cussing. 🙉 Dan is looking worried.😮
Departure day! Dan gets up early and packs for himself. We all bring our suitcases to the front door and he loads the car. I clean up breakfast dishes and check the house for anything that has been forgotten. Mary is dressed, I am ready. We ASSUME we will be getting into the car any minute! I feel relief flood over me - we have made it. BUT THEN, Dan remembers some bills he needed to pay. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Mary and I watch “Newsies” to pass the time. 1-1/2 hours later, he has the bills taken care of. Then he gets a call from work. I threaten to bail out on the vacation at this point. 30 minutes later the ‘work’ problem has been resolved and I’ve cooled off. Mary and I turn off the movie with the anticipation of finally hitting the road. But Dan remembers he needs to take a key to the cat sitter and mail a few things. He finds envelopes and stamps and we FINALLY pile into the car and drop off the key and head to the post office. I am fuming. Mary is oblivious. I tell him this is the LAST trip I will EVER go on with him. There is much silence, no, tense and anxious silence, in the car.
No smiles. None. Zero. I look out my window. Occasionally growling may be heard…. 😖
But 2-4 hours into our trip, we are somehow talking to each other again. And even smiling. 😄😊
Go figure. Must be love - the real kind. 💕
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